1 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,259 From the moment we are born.... 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:13,138 ...is a sound in all cultures and continents. 3 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 The well-known fairy tale. 4 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:18,519 She was even more beautiful than he thought. 5 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:23,482 Finding true love is the key to a happy life. 6 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,609 I've been thinking a lot, and... 7 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,528 I love you. 8 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,447 Ditto. 9 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,867 As adults we must reconcile with monogamy... 10 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,452 ...while it is simple. 11 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,288 We're really bad at it. 12 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,918 It kept Jerry Springer on the air for 25 years. 13 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,670 'THE WEDDING IS CANCELLED!' 14 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:45,963 I slept with Eddie. 15 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,715 You cheated on me with her? -I have a tattoo with your name. 16 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,176 Are you cheating on him? -How many girls have you taken? 17 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:55,389 In 2016, 2.2 million got married American couples... 18 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,517 ...and over 800,000 breaches the relationship. 19 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:04,481 Our search for, and failure at monogamy causes a lot of suffering. 20 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:10,445 If it's so hard to be monogamous, why do so many people in the world... 21 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:14,199 ...one of their most important ones life goals of? 22 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,770 I wondered: is he the one? 23 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,413 A NETFLIX ORIGINAL DOCUMENTARY SERIES 24 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,164 I consider myself lucky. 25 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,792 A beautiful picture of it new royal couple. 26 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,838 The Crown Prince has openly admitted that he was not faithful. 27 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,214 I announce my resignation. 28 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:32,259 The crime was fathering one child with a married neighbor. 29 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,219 Nelson Mandela... -A broken marriage. 30 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:38,640 I didn't have a sexual relationship with that woman. 31 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:44,896 Monogamy 32 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,566 When you ask people why they choose monogamy... 33 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,943 ...you always hear the same answer. 34 00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:51,612 They fell in love. 35 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,615 We saw each other in the candy store. 36 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,451 1946. 37 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,369 We studied together. 38 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,413 We were both in a relationship. 39 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,624 And we haven't cheated anyone. 40 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,376 You look as guilty as we do here talk about. 41 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,794 I'm bad at this. 42 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:12,257 It's an arranged marriage. Whatever they chose, it was good. 43 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,134 And I am very happy with it. 44 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,928 We had a study date one evening... 45 00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:20,349 ...and that turned into an anatomy lesson. 46 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,186 I had never felt this for anyone before. 47 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,188 God has blessed us. 48 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,689 We found true love. 49 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,233 Naturally. We are still here after 70 years. 50 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,570 25 years, I should have left for good behavior. 51 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,699 I hope soulmates really exist, but... 52 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,159 She is my soulmate. 53 00:02:40,350 --> 00:02:42,329 You mine too. 54 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,668 But monogamy and love are not the same. 55 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:51,171 We're so stuck with the fact... 56 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,422 RELATIONSHIP ADVICE COLUMNIST 57 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,716 ...that love and monogamy are the same mean. 58 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,718 And without monogamy there is no love. 59 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,888 Love is a feeling. Monogamy a rule. 60 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:03,684 You only have one person sex, and most cultures... 61 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,936 ....expect that one day... 62 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:09,189 ...that rule makes lawful, with a marriage contract. 63 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:12,317 Violating that rule is common in many countries a crime. 64 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,905 Adultery is illegal in America in at least 20 States... 65 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,907 ...and though rarely prosecuted... 66 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:23,620 ...may incur the penalty of a fine from $10 to 3 years in prison. 67 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,957 If you've been around for 50 years are in a monogamous relationship... 68 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,711 ...and you make one mistake, then the whole relationship was a lie. 69 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:34,172 Most people have ambivalent impulses... 70 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,900 WRITER 71 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,926 ...it's nice to be able to trust someone... 72 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,721 ...but there is also the seduction of the new. 73 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:45,100 Why do people think worldwide a rule that is so difficult to follow. 74 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,687 And we see breaking the rule as a huge betrayal? 75 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:52,441 Like a man has a hair on his clothes.... 76 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:56,778 ...which does not belong to his wife, this could lead to a serious crisis. 77 00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,324 There has been one for more than a century generally accepted explanation. 78 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,340 Sound check. 79 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,871 One... 80 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:09,332 Everyone knows the standard story. 81 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,250 WRITER 82 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,755 That men want to be sexually free and spread their seed throughout the world. 83 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:20,260 And women want exclusivity, and above all choose a caregiver... 84 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:24,389 ...because they are vulnerable and the children need to be taken care of. 85 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:30,187 Women actually trade sexual fidelity for goods and services. 86 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:36,693 There's another reason why men don't want women to cheat. 87 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,612 When women have a child... 88 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,529 WRITER 89 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:43,283 ...it is certain that they are genetically linked is with this child. 90 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:47,204 The man must take the woman's word for it believe. 91 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,582 Biologists have known for a long time... 92 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:56,171 ...that men are more likely seek multiple sexual partners. 93 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,924 And the reason is actually quite clear. 94 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,258 Firstly... 95 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:04,304 ...sperm is continuously produced... 96 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,682 ...against one egg every month. 97 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:11,812 That's a good one, not so much ethical, but very clear... 98 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:16,441 ...evolutionary reason why men are horny bastards. 99 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,694 But there's one problem with that statement. 100 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,406 Of promiscuous possessive men and demure women. 101 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:28,119 Through time and worldwide, people did not adhere to this. 102 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,747 Anatomically modern humans... 103 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,500 ...have been around for at least 300,000 years. 104 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,838 And for more than 90 percent of that time, we lived as hunter-gatherers. 105 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,131 HUNTERS-GATHERERS 106 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:43,885 Anthropologists refer to them as particularly egalitarian. 107 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,806 There is no reason to believe that our ancestors shared everything... 108 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,975 ...except sexual partners. 109 00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:54,104 Of course we can't go back to question them... 110 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:59,150 ...but we have the reports of explorers and Europeans... 111 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:02,320 ...that first developed and these companies saw... 112 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,310 ...before there is a lot of outside influence came. 113 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:09,770 And they were surprised and shocked due to the differences in sexual morals. 114 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:14,708 The story goes that Jesuit that a time lived with Naskapi Indians early... 115 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,586 'If you women had so much freedom give... 116 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:21,131 ...how do you know that the child what she wears is yours?' 117 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,967 And he wrote down the answer of the Indian. 118 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:28,430 'You are not wise. You French only love their own children... 119 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,433 ...but we love all children of the tribe.' 120 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,979 When a child cries and the nearest adult picks it up... 121 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,523 ...no one says: “Hey, your kid is crying.” 122 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,482 No, there... 123 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:44,290 There is a common parenting among hunter-gatherers. 124 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,324 One of those groups is the Bari from Venezuela... 125 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,201 ...where every man who is with a woman sleeps when she's pregnant... 126 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:53,288 ...is seen as the father of that child, and helps take care of it. 127 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:57,420 In our society that would be the case probably won't work very well. 128 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,376 I don't recommend it. 129 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,629 But in that society... 130 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:06,551 ...had a child with multiple fathers... 131 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:10,960 ...even a better chance of survival to adulthood. 132 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,973 Because those men helped. 133 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:16,102 Have you ever considered dating someone else to be after we get married? 134 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,312 Are you crazy? 135 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,649 We don't say we are open. But there is a small crack. 136 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:21,816 Precisely. 137 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,860 That's not good in my opinion. 138 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,530 In our language we say: 'Pati parmeshwar.' 139 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,574 That means 'man is like God'. 140 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,452 That is our culture. -Our culture. 141 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:36,665 We actually met through the non-monogamous community. 142 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:40,752 I define this relationship as, this is my cohabitant... 143 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,338 ...partner, and we call each other the other. -Yes. 144 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:48,343 We are primary partners and our other partners are secondary. 145 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,636 I find it fascinating. 146 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:54,599 I think a lot about whether I ever would can, but I don't think I can. 147 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:58,186 I had a threesome with two friends, I took the initiative. 148 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,398 I thought it would be fun to experiment with several people... 149 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,525 ...with someone I really love. 150 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,783 ...and cannot be compared with the hetero-normal norms. 151 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,118 And that's nonsense. 152 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:17,664 It shouldn't be surprising that some cultures are not monogamous. 153 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:22,877 In the animal kingdom it is real sexual monogamy virtually unknown. 154 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,675 Perhaps the most romantic creature is the Diplozoon Paradoxum... 155 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,680 ...a parasitic tapeworm that literally... merges with his partner for life. 156 00:08:34,970 --> 00:08:37,434 But people are not tapeworms or monkeys... 157 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:41,896 ...and our immediate family in it animal kingdom are chimpanzees and bonobos. 158 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,107 We are more related with chimpanzees and bonobos... 159 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,680 ...than the Indian elephant with the African elephant. 160 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,447 The kinship consists of bone and muscle structure... 161 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:54,909 ...and in the ability to respond to things and problem solving. 162 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:59,247 Chimpanzees and bonobos are obvious anything but monogamous. 163 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,375 Have Bonobos everywhere and have sex with everyone. 164 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:10,800 They have sex as a greeting, as a farewell. 165 00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:11,801 They have sex when they are stressed. 166 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,387 For both male and female bonobos... 167 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,183 ....is this free love philosophy evolutionary logical. 168 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,180 The men spread their seed... 169 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,188 ...and the women take the seed of several men... 170 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,691 ...who then fight with each other for the egg to fertilize. 171 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,861 The strongest sperm wins. 172 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:34,532 There are aspects to bonobo anatomy who are adapted to promiscuity... 173 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:38,536 ...and intriguingly, we are there too see a lot of it in people... 174 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:42,207 ...suggesting that we too being evolutionarily non-monogamous. 175 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,125 Physical differences. 176 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,128 In species that are more promiscuous... 177 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:51,257 ...men are on average 15-25 percent longer than women. 178 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,677 And in theory, when men fight to get women pregnant... 179 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,263 ...the testicles are bigger and stronger. 180 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:02,894 The human testicles are average, between the very large testicles... 181 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:08,608 ...of bonobos and chimpanzees and the very small ones, for example gorillas. 182 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,110 Then the human penis. 183 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:14,405 Almost the largest among primates, and has a unique shape. 184 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,867 We have a much thicker penis with an even thicker glans. 185 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:22,914 This shape creates a vacuum in the female reproductive system... 186 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:29,462 ...resulting in sperm already present is pulled away from the egg... 187 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:35,301 ...which gives an advantage to the sperm of the man having sex at that moment. 188 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,721 Then there is the feminine sound during copulation... 189 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,266 ...so well known and accepted... 190 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:44,394 ...that it always comes back in sex scenes in movies. 191 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,777 What we see is that feminine mating sound is normal... 192 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,989 ...among primates subject to sperm competition. 193 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,450 And both humans and bonobos have them sex to build a bond. 194 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,994 And not just for children. 195 00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:04,330 Which may explain why we looking at each other during sex. 196 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:09,627 Humans and bonobos are the only ones who look at each other during sex. 197 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:13,131 And why we do it more often most mammals. 198 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,900 So, when people say... 199 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,137 ....so and so had sex like animals, are wrong. 200 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:24,267 And there is now a lot of evidence that monogamy is more recent... 201 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,977 ...than most think. 202 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,770 About 12,000 years ago... 203 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,733 ...when people stopped being hunter-gatherers and discovered agriculture. 204 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,152 AGRICULTURAL REVOLUTION 205 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:40,325 An overwhelming concern arises for property rights. 206 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:45,663 As the Greeks say, you don't want any foreign seed on your land. 207 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:51,377 For thousands of years, to marry was the way to get more manpower. 208 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,422 Peace agreements were reached business agreements... 209 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:59,385 The more I study it, the more I become convinced that marriage... 210 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,140 ...had nothing to do with the relationship between man and woman... 211 00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:04,307 ...but with in-laws. 212 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:08,186 Funny, because nowadays In-laws are the biggest threat... 213 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,772 ...for solidarity between man and woman. 214 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,732 But that's what marriage was about. 215 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:16,819 Look at Anthony and Cleopatra, that was definitely not a love story. 216 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:21,320 Those were two people from the most important empires in the world... 217 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:25,286 ...trying to get together to rule over both realms. 218 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,748 The idea of marrying for love... 219 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:33,127 ...only came into being a few hundred years ago suffered in Western societies. 220 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,839 1700s 221 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:42,512 When we made the transition to the idea that love is the basis.... 222 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,138 ...that scared people. 223 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:47,225 Supporters of traditional marriages said, 'Good heavens. 224 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:51,396 How do we get a woman to get married? when she says, "I don't love him." 225 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,565 How do we stop divorces? 226 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,260 So a new idea emerged. 227 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,290 Men and women had to love find and marry... 228 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,407 ...because together they form one whole. 229 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:06,577 Men aggressive and protective, women caring and modest. 230 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,205 They were opposites that completed each other. 231 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,876 During that time it developed evolutionary biology... 232 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,170 ....led by male scientists. 233 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:21,175 They used their theories to... explain Victorian gender roles. 234 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,470 As Charles Darwin wrote in The Descent of Man... 235 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:28,641 'The woman seems to be mentally different of the man... 236 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:32,770 ...especially in more tenderness, and less selfishness;.. 237 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,897 ...and the man's pleasure in it competition. 238 00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:36,899 And this leads to ambition. 239 00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:41,612 So is the man in the end has become superior to woman.' 240 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,949 It is possible that his ideas became so popular... 241 00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,702 ...and held out for so long, because it seemed logical... 242 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,288 ...in the world we lived in. 243 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:53,958 But if monogamy is a thing what was invented... 244 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,211 ...a way to challenge gender roles and to establish social order... 245 00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:01,424 ...how do we explain that deep-seated instinctive feeling... 246 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,925 ...when our loved ones cheat? 247 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,120 Tell. Are you the jealous type? 248 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:11,351 We don't have much to do with jealousy. 249 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,145 No idea why. 250 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,314 What is it. -Because we're sluts. 251 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:20,680 Very honest... -I don't get jealous. 252 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:25,740 It's important that you understand why you are jealous, jealousy is not... 253 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:29,160 It's not a feeling, it comes usually comes from something else. 254 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:33,956 It's not a guillotine falling. Jealousy is like an event. 255 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,840 How do you deal with that event? 256 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:41,672 Who were you really with? That little blonde secretary at work? 257 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:46,761 I don't think you'll find a society without sexual jealousy... 258 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:51,891 ...but we also have other impulses like generosity... 259 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,770 ...and the feeling that perhaps others characteristics of man... 260 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,856 ...are more important than the sexual man. 261 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:02,443 And these coexist, and fight, and I think it will remain that way. 262 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,710 I describe my relationship as monogamous. 263 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,908 We've been together for 24 years not monogamous for 20 years. 264 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:13,204 And people do say: 'I couldn't do what you do... 265 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,331 ...I attach too much importance to promises. 266 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,126 All three of my marriages were monogamous.” 267 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:22,400 That person was committed to monogamy, not to the partner. 268 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,548 Committed to monogamy. 269 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,176 Non-monogamy is gaining more and more attention. 270 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,262 Define polyamory -Without monogamy. 271 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,930 Polyamory... 272 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,141 It's called polyamory. 273 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,767 Polyamory. -With more. 274 00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,478 Not monogamous, okay. -You couldn't. 275 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,690 A 2016 study indicated that one in five Americans... 276 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,860 ...a non-monogamous relationship had at some point. 277 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,905 And another study indicated, that a third party sees an ideal relationship... 278 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,320 ...if not monogamous. 279 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:54,780 Monogamy as we know it has already taken many forms. 280 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,955 Imposed. 281 00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:57,290 Useful. 282 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,291 Beautiful. 283 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,209 Undermining. 284 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,253 As humanity evolves... 285 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,500 ...also develops our sexuality. 286 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,633 When we come to what I see as unknown territory. 287 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,469 For the first time in history... 288 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:13,931 ...we try to develop relationships that are not based on coercion. 289 00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:17,180 Coercion for women due to economic and legal dependence... 290 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,811 ...through their bodies... 291 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:22,523 Social coercion for men and economic structures. 292 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,109 We are trying to find a new balance. 293 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,777 Monogamy is not natural. 294 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:30,448 And because it's not natural... 295 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:34,452 ...it's something we have to work for if we want it. 296 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:39,207 One of the things that makes us human make it particularly interesting... 297 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,293 ...and maybe even unique in the animal kingdom... 298 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:46,506 ...our ability is unnatural things to do. 299 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,674 Monogamy is like vegetarianism. 300 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,345 You can choose to be vegetarian, and that can be healthy. 301 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,181 It could be ethical, a great decision... 302 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,392 ...but that you choose it... 303 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:01,395 ...doesn't want to say yet that bacon no longer smells good. 304 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,480 If we're lucky... 305 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:06,817 ...it's no longer about the relationship that we must have... 306 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,270 ...in the modern world. 307 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,864 It's about the relationships that we want. 308 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:15,660 Humans may not have evolved as sexually monogamous... 309 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,829 ...but evolutionarily we are flexible. 310 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,667 Subtitled by: Netflix Netherlands